A MOTHER'S ANGUISH

A mother's anguish

THE brutalised body of Sarah Payne lay in her little white coffin... in a room bursting with roses, lilies and carnations.

Her parents Sara and Michael sat just feet away, holding hands in the candlelight, saying a tearful farewell to their precious princess.

"We were there for 20 minutes or so, just talking to our little girl," said Sara.

"It's not the natural order of things, to bury your own child.

"We spoke to her. We told her all the things she deserved to hear."

Sara and Michael kept their vigil in a chapel of rest - two days before Sarah's funeral.

It was the first time they had been close to their eight-year-old daughter since she was taken from them on a summer afternoon.

In her coffin Sarah wore a favourite dress. Round her neck was a silver fairy on a silver chain.

Pixies

It was sent to the Payne family by a kindly well-wisher soon after Sarah went missing.

Her mum said: "I wore it the whole time the country searched and prayed for Sarah.

"It became a symbol of hope and I wanted her to be buried with it.

"My little angel would have wanted a fairy to look over her as she left us.

"Sarah believed in fairies. She would often grab my hand and race me to the bottom of the garden so we could find them amongst the flowers.

"We'd giggle as we searched for goblins and pixies.

"She truly believed in magical things like that."

Sara and Michael had been ushered into the chapel with tears brimming in their eyes.

Left on their own with their little girl they clasped each other for support and walked tentatively forwards.

They struggled to take in the heartwrenching sight before them.

During Sara and Michael's vigil the coffin remained closed.

"We didn't see her body after it was found," said Sara.

"We don't want to remember her that way.

Laughing

"All the time I stared at that coffin, I played over and over in my mind a picture of laughing, happy Sarah jumping all over the place and so full of life."

The necklace was sent to Sara by a woman in Loughborough, Leics.

It was made locally and came with a card bearing the words:

"Come into the enchanted garden, it's the most magical place to be, and when three o'clock arrives, it's time for fairy tea."

Sara also made sure that her daughter's favourite teddy bear was with her in the coffin.

There were also notes from her brothers Lee, 13, and Luke, 11, and six-year-old sister Charlotte.

Sarah was abducted on July 1.

The family had spent the afternoon together on the beach near her grandparents' home in Kingston Gorse, West Sussex.

At the end of the day the four children walked into a field of wheat.

But Sarah turned back - and was thought to have been grabbed by a man in a white van.

Her body was found 16 days later. Sara remembers her daughter racing across the sands on that last day.

She said. "The sun was shining on her and she was wearing her blue dress. I have replayed this scene in my mind a thousand times.

"It is my last memory of her, full of life - a typical eight-year-old.

She was picking up shells and splashing along the water's edge.

"Her long hair was billowing in the wind and she wore a massive smile. Always smiling."

Sarah's funeral was at St Peter's Church in Hersham, Surrey - near the family home.

Sara said: "I have finally laid my little girl to rest. I feel strangely peaceful about that.

"I have to accept that she is gone in body if not in spirit."

In the long weeks since Sarah's murder, her mother's courage, dignity and determination have won the admiration of the nation.

And Sara and Michael have vowed not to waver from their campaign to change the way the law deals with paedophiles and protects children.

Sara said: "We will never rest until Sarah's Law is law in this country.

"Nobody can ignore us and no government and certainly not even Tony Blair can pretend that children are safe.

"We also want to appeal to Prime Minister Tony Blair as parents. We want to talk to him as parent to parent.

"He is a father of four, he wants his kids to be safe, just like we want our kids to be safe, just like any parent doesn't want their child to fall into the hands of a monster like the person who took our daughter away from us."

Sara and Michael are overwhelmed by the support and dedication of people around the country who have signed the News of the World's For Sarah petition.

It demands that parents should have controlled access to the identity of child sex offenders living in their neighbourhood and that life should mean life when a paedophile is given the maximum jail sentence.

Deluged

Michael said: "Tony Blair really holds the key to this. Police, child protection groups and the public are behind us, but he's the one who can make it law.

"When he wrote to us just after Sarah disappeared he asked if there was anything he could do.

"Now we reiterate what we said before - you can make Sarah's Law become law."

Sara smiled as she recalled the thousands and thousands of messages to deluge the family home.

She said: "We've had letters from Bosnia, from Northern Ireland, from Russia, everywhere which has been touched by terror and heartache.

"Some people don't even sign their names or tell us who they are.

"And the response to the petition is just amazing.

"I'm astonished how much the News of the World and its readers have achieved and I'm so very proud of what has been done.

"For once someone has had the guts to stand up and say: We are going to put the needs of the victim before the needs of the offenders.

"The campaign has made the people responsible for controlling paedophiles sit up and admit they have to make drastic changes.

"What I would say to Mr Blair is that it is time to put the children first.

"More than 80 per cent of the population support Sarah's Law. Please don't let her death be in vain."

Sara explained how Sarah's murder has left her other children traumatised.

She said: "When Sarah was alive, we would put her to bed with Charlotte at about eight o'clock every night. "Now Charlotte fights sleep.

Every time she shuts her eyes she knows it's not the same."

Sara also explained how the family chose the Jon and Vangelis song 'I'll Find My Way Home' to close Sarah's funeral service.

She said: "It is our family song. Michael and I, both sets of parents and kids all love it.

"It is even more special now because of course we were hoping Sarah would find her way home.

"She never did. She never had the chance..."

Sara also revealed how she wrote the heartbreaking letter to Sarah which she read at the service.

She said: "I started scribbling down random thoughts - from the moment she was born, her first tooth, the way she used to laugh.

I could have gone on for ever. "Where do you start when you want to write about your child's short but beautiful life?

"I sat there with pen and paper in my hand trying to pick the best bits. But her life was full of best bits.

"No one expected me to make a speech.

But I wanted to get up in front of all those people and do it for Sarah

© Copyright MORI/News of the World